You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
