I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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