Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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