I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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