I want to stick my p in your. b.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You are the jesus of drinking
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
