In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
