I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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