I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
