yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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