exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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