Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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