I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
