hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
