Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize