is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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