I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
