Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
