bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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