You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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