PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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