guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
