One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
