your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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