Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
should my penis look like a turkey
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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