she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
