he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
