Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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