The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
