I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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