Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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