I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
