you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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