you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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