sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize