At least make sure they are 18
Why
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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