there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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