My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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