stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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