The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
