i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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