All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
