Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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