You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
