Duck Duck Cougar?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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