i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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