I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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