i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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