maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
