we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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