Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
