I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
