just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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