it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
