How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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