dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
