they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
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