Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
