Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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