Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
