KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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