So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
