at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize