Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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