Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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