i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
