Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
