I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
