why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize