Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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