I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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