you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
