i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you would pick up someone in the library
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
