We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
