Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
