they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize