Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize